中級 美國腔 897603 分類 收藏
You guys, right now it's time for "Tonight Show Hashtag".
Let's check it out.
You guys are on Twitter, right?
It's fun, we use Twitter on our show every single week, so if you watch our show and you want to play along,
we do this thing every Wednesday where I send out a hashtag.
And we ask you guys to tweet out things based on that topic.
So, because the season finale of The Bachelor is coming up,
I want to Twitter and start to hashtag,
hashtag "awkward break up".
I asked you guys to tweet out a funny or awkward breakup story that happened to you or someone you know.
We got thousands of Tweets.
I mean a lot of people have great stories.
In fact, within an half-hour, it was a worldwide trending topic.
So, thank you for those Tweets.
I appreciate it.
They're all awkward.
Breaking up is the worst, it's just nothing good about it.
But then, when it's awkward that's the funny part of it.
That's what makes me laugh.
So now, I thought I would share some of my favorite awkward breakup Tweets from you guys.
Here we go.
This first ones from MikeFeeneyPXP
He says,
She emailed it was over.
Got impatient.
Called me and said,
"You should check your email!"
then hung up.
That's cold.
Yeah, cold-blooded .
cold-blooded, man.
This ones from Ang4ND1
she says,"
I broke up with my boyfriend,
but he was so drunk that he forgot
and showed up to hang out the next day,
so I had to break up with him again."
It's like, he made me do it twice!
It over, again.
Yeah, you're good at it now.
This one is awesome.
This one's from ryanmarbles
he says,"
My girlfriend dumped me while I was paying for a pizza,
and the delivery guy felt so bad that he gave me a hug."
Hugs on the house, buddy.
Get over here, come on bring it.
Is that a bread stick in your pocket, or you're happy to see me?
No way!
This one's from jameskorkie
he says,"
I once had a girl break up with me in the jeans aisle of Marshalls."
Oh, that's good.
That was awkward.
Bastard, why can't you think you can wait.
I can't do it, I can't wait any longer.
Jeans aisle of Marshalls
This one's weird.
This one's from hannah_eve
She says,"
After the breakup,
he said he was finished dating,
and wanted to live his life alone like his great aunt did."
Weird people, man!
My great aunt Edna,
she lived alone for thirty years of Manse on the hill.
She had the best life ever.
She would go up and down the stairs, like.......
She had three thousand cats.
Facs of National Geography says "Aye" at your head.
We found her corpse.
She was clutching the remote control.
We haven't heard from her for two years.
By the time you showed up, there's a house full of thousands of fat cats.
I won't describe the rest.
One of them, merda, opened the fridge.
Unbelieving everything that cats can do that.
Made of casserole, the mustard was spectacular.
There I was sitting with a bunch of cats.
Someone should make a painting of that.
Then they played poker.
Then we played poker with dogs.
Anyway, I want to live like her.
I've worn their skins for years.
Oh, alright.
This one's from YoussefOujdad
he says,"
I broke up with my high school girlfriend
using an excel chart to illustrate the downward trend of our relationship.
You notice here, there's a sharp decline of snuggles.
In the month of June, we didn't snuggle at all.
Your comments grow how I love them.
This one's from AmyKimiko
she says,"
A guy broke up with me and his final words were,
'This relationship is terminated.'"
He won't be back.
This one's from JordanPhillie
he says,"
I had a terrible cold when my girlfriend broke up with me.
When she said,
'I want to see other people,'
I accidentally sneezed in her face."
There you have it.
This is the "Tonight Show Hashtag".
Check out more of our favorite quotes on TONIGHTSHOW.COM/HASHTAGS
Or some of you might be downloading our new Tonight Show App available on iTunes,
and for Android.



【吉米秀】超強分手八招 (Jimmy Fallon: Tonight Show Hashtags: #AwkwardBreakup)

897603 分類 收藏
Colin Lin 發佈於 2018 年 2 月 22 日    Colin Lin 翻譯    許瓊文 審核


你有沒有遇過尷尬的分手故事?或是聽過朋友的尷尬分手事蹟?我們來看看大家跟 Jimmy 分享的超強分手八招吧!#世紀最尷尬的分手

1hashtag 0:08
在 Instagram, Twitter, Facebook 等社交軟體上,最流行的字眼。
hashtag 「標記」就是井字號「#」的本身。時下最夯的幾個小 V 來教一下:
#mcm 意思是 man crush monday ,一般是女生在禮拜一會貼自己男朋友的照片,或是喜歡的男星,然後標記 mcm。有男生,當然也會有女生啦!女生的專屬則是 #wcw woman crush wednesday。 而禮拜四也有 #tbt throwback thursday ,大家就會發一些舊照然後標記 tbt。有些人也會在禮拜四標註 thirstythursday 這邊的口渴指的是,想喝酒啦!
還有許多網美會標記 #ootd outfit of the day,就是每日穿搭。情侶放閃的專用則是 #relationshipgoals 。缺讚友的可以標記以下 #instalike #instadaily #follow4follow #likeforlike 。吃貨可以前往 #foodie 。最後是小 V 私心很喜歡的 #iseetaiwan 可以看到很多台灣的美。當然最重要的還有 #vtexperience #vt輕鬆 #vt不負責任翻譯 等等的一系列 VoiceTube hashtag

【艾倫秀】#每天都要Instagram一下才夠潮 (#InstagramEveryDay)

2cold-blooded 1:19
Man, what you did to that girl was hashtag cold-blooded .
天哪,你對那個女生的作為真是 #冷血。

Jeffery Dahmer is a cold-blooded killer.
Jeffery Dahmer 是個冷血的殺人魔。

3on the house1:50
Here, have a shot on the house .
來,這杯 shot 店裡招待。

4aisle 2:10
在這邊是指「賣場裡的 XX 區」
A: Excuse me, sir, do you know where I could find socks?
B: Yes, they're down the sporting goods aisle .

在歐美的婚禮裡,也常會說到 walk down the aisle
這邊的 aisle 指的是「鋪著紅毯的走道」,一般是新娘會挽著自己父親的手臂走向紅毯的另一端,但在現今的社會中,也可以是自己的閨蜜,兄弟姊妹等等的來陪新娘走這一段路。walk down the aisle 後也引申為「結婚」。
A: Were you at Tara's wedding?
B: Yeah, I cried my eyes out when her dad walked her down the aisle .
A:你有去 Tara 的婚禮嗎?

Maz Jobrani: 當一個沙烏地阿拉伯人、印度人、和伊朗人走進卡達的酒吧....(Maz Jobrani: A Saudi, an Indian and an Iranian walk into a Qatari bar ...)

5excel chart 3:46
沒錯,這邊的 excel chart 就是我們所熟知的「 office 的 excel 圖表」。
excel 還有「擅長」的意思
A: Do you know how to work this machine?
B: Do I know how to work it? Please, I excel at it!

chart 則是「圖表」
pie chart 是「圓餅圖」,bar chart 是「條型統計圖」,line chart 是「線型圖」
off the chart 代表「爆表」。
His blood pressure is off the chart .

這八個分手的情境是不是很尷尬呢?小 V 都看到尷尬癌發作了。下次如果要分手,還是堂堂正正地告訴人家吧!

文/ Cyndi Tsai




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